I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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