That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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