Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
