u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
