do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
