She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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