in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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