Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
