i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
