They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
