Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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