it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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