I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ttyl tear gas
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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