The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
