ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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