Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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