shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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