u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
