oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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