We won't sleep together?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
