I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
