We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
