Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Watching her eat just hurts me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I believe in your delicious
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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