talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
