At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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