And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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