no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Two words: blizzard sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
