carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
