I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
