apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
