Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
