i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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