Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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