I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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