This is not my ceiling
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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