Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
