I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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