can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
