OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
