Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
