There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
