how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
MIDGETS
????
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
