omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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