Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
