quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
