Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
