Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How does it feel to date your dad?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
