A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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