Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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