She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
