Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
